{"id":36708,"date":"2024-07-07T08:13:53","date_gmt":"2024-07-06T23:13:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/?p=36708"},"modified":"2024-07-08T12:29:06","modified_gmt":"2024-07-08T03:29:06","slug":"kuzu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/kuzu\/","title":{"rendered":"Men Who Can\u2019t Instantly Say \u201cMinivan\u201d When Asked What Car They Want After Kids Are Born Are Definitely Losers\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_74 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">\u30b3\u30f3\u30c6\u30f3\u30c4<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/kuzu\/#Is_that_really_the_best_answer\" >Is that really the best answer?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/kuzu\/#Why_not_have_two_cars\" >Why not have two cars?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<br \/>\nI often see posts by Nob-san on X. His posts are always interesting, so I can\u2019t help but read them.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\n<p dir=\"ltr\" lang=\"ja\">Men who love cars are a hassle for women looking for marriage partners.<\/p>\n<p>But apparently, you can tell if he\u2019ll be a good husband in the future with a simple question.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAsk him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can\u2019t immediately say \u2018minivan,\u2019 he\u2019s definitely a loser!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what it says.<br \/>\nI saw someone puffing up their nostrils talking about this again yesterday. <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/gHF8sIn9W2\">pic.twitter.com\/gHF8sIn9W2<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Nob (@Nob57165321) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Nob57165321\/status\/1809062316618707169?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">July 5, 2024<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Men who love cars are a hassle for women looking for marriage partners. But apparently, you can tell if he\u2019ll be a good husband in the future with a simple question: <strong>\u201cAsk him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can\u2019t immediately say \u2018minivan,\u2019 he\u2019s definitely a loser!\u201d<\/strong> That\u2019s what it says. I saw someone puffing up their nostrils talking about this again yesterday.<\/p>\n<p>So.<\/p>\n<p>This debate pops up now and then, and I\u2019m sure it\u2019s a topic that will never be settled.<\/p>\n<p>Surely, <strong>\u201cminivan = family-oriented,\u201d \u201che genuinely thinks about his family,\u201d \u201che wouldn\u2019t spend money on his hobbies and neglect the household,\u201d \u201che\u2019s a proper husband and dad\u201d<\/strong> is the idea behind it. Conversely, <strong>\u201ca guy who keeps buying sporty cars for his own pleasure and does whatever he wants doesn\u2019t care about his family, so you shouldn\u2019t marry someone like that\u201d<\/strong> is the other side of the coin.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe the woman who started this conversation has a father like the latter, who <strong>neglected his family and caused the mother a lot of hardship, so she refuses to marry someone like that<\/strong>. Everyone\u2019s values are different, so I don\u2019t think it\u2019s anyone else\u2019s place to judge.<\/p>\n<p>And if the man being asked <strong>truly, sincerely, from the bottom of his heart wants a minivan and is perfectly happy with that<\/strong>, then that\u2019s a wonderful thing.<\/p>\n<p>But every time I see this kind of debate, I feel a strong sense of discomfort.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because the conversation is based on the assumption that following the \u201cshould be\u201d rails of society\u2019s common sense is the correct answer.<\/p>\n<p><strong>If you do what everyone else does, you feel somewhat safe.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>If you don\u2019t stray from the rails, you\u2019ll probably be okay.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the underlying mindset, and it seems like the question <strong>\u201cWhy in the first place? What\u2019s the purpose?\u201d<\/strong> is being ignored.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"style3a\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Is_that_really_the_best_answer\"><\/span>Is that really the best answer?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Of course, I\u2019m also bound by common sense in many ways.<\/p>\n<p>There are times when <strong>\u201cI really want to do this, but I can\u2019t for some reason\u201d<\/strong>, and I\u2019m not in a position to lecture others. But at least I try to consciously ask myself, <strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s the point of this?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Because <strong>what matters is achieving the goal, and there are infinite ways to do so.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I try (or at least intend) to regularly think about whether I\u2019m getting caught up in the \u201cmeans\u201d and losing sight of the essence.<\/p>\n<p>And even if the means <strong>go against general social norms or stray from the rails, if I think it\u2019s right, I\u2019ll boldly walk that path.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I like living that way, so I consciously question myself. (And I\u2019m a bit of a loner who prefers self-reflection over socializing.)<\/p>\n<p>Speaking of which, now that my older kids are in elementary school, I often think about the \u201c<strong>once kids pass third grade, they should go to cram school<\/strong>\u201d rail.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not saying cram school is bad.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re convinced, discuss it with your spouse and kids, and decide it\u2019s the best solution, that\u2019s totally fine. If your child loves studying and has a goal, then by all means, they should study hard. But,<\/p>\n<p><strong>Because everyone else is going.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Because it somehow feels safer to send them.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Because if they take exams now, they\u2019ll ride the escalator to university.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Because going to a good school means going to a good university and a secure future.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>These seem to be the main reasons\u2026 and I always wonder if that\u2019s really true.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>With AI advancing rapidly and taking over more and more jobs, is cram school really the best answer now? Maybe the important things lie elsewhere. (If it\u2019s truly the best answer, then that\u2019s fine.)<\/p>\n<p>Back to the minivan topic, it\u2019s the same \u2014 I wonder if that\u2019s really the best answer.<\/p>\n<p>Surely that person wants to live a happy life.<\/p>\n<p>If so, I think it\u2019s better to deeply consider <strong>\u201cWhat does happiness mean to me?\u201d<\/strong> And by thinking about that, the answer to <strong>\u201cIs marriage really the best way to live a happy life?\u201d<\/strong> might change.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re marrying because of your parents\u2019 expectations, social pressure, or impatience about having kids, you don\u2019t have to force yourself.<\/p>\n<p>But if you think marriage will make you happy, then the question you should ask your partner is not some cheap line like <strong>\u201cAsk him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can\u2019t immediately say \u2018minivan,\u2019 he\u2019s definitely a loser!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You should look deeper at things like <strong>\u201cDoes this person have the resolve to protect their family?\u201d \u201cHow serious are they about their own life?\u201d \u201cAre they someone who follows through on their words?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what I think.<\/p>\n<p>Well, since I think this way, I\u2019m sure the person who started this topic on X would say, <strong>\u201cWow, this guy\u2019s a pain in the neck\u201d<\/strong> and probably ignore me altogether (lol).<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"style3a\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_not_have_two_cars\"><\/span>Why not have two cars?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>On the contrary, I think <strong>\u201cNo matter what society calls you\u2014a loser or whatever\u2014I admire a man who sticks to the path he believes in\u201d<\/strong> (of course, not to the extent of causing serious trouble to others).<\/p>\n<p>When asked, <strong>\u201cWhat kind of car do you want when kids are born?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think it\u2019s perfectly fine to answer,<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cI love cars, so I\u2019m going to add another one! I\u2019ll work hard to earn for that! If you don\u2019t understand that, then don\u2019t bother marrying me!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And I believe there are (even if few) women who would find such a man \u201cinteresting!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-32849\" src=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/img_18-1280x720.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Anyway, life is only once, so you should live it the way you want.<\/p>\n<p>Living your way means stepping off society\u2019s rails, which takes courage and resolve, but if that way of living and choosing becomes normal, then by <strong>\u201cbirds of a feather flock together,\u201d<\/strong> like-minded people will gather,<\/p>\n<p>You won\u2019t care about others\u2019 opinions,<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll happily say, <strong>\u201cLooks like I\u2019m adding another car!\u201d<\/strong> while buying a Porsche,<br \/>\nYou\u2019ll say, <strong>\u201cAlright! Time to earn more!\u201d<\/strong> and work hard,<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll go to the Royu Driveway almost every week,<br \/>\nYou\u2019ll go on solo tours covering thousands of kilometers,<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll go to family restaurants monthly and chat about cars with your car friends until closing time,<\/p>\n<p>Even if people are baffled, you\u2019ll think, <strong>\u201cBeing called weird is the highest compliment,\u201d<\/strong> and even enjoy those looks\u2014a true going-my-own-way husband and his car-loving friends will emerge (lol).<\/p>\n<p>And I, watching my husband, recently say, <strong>\u201cWell then, I\u2019ll have my freedom too! Someday I want two cars as well!\u201d<\/strong> so together we\u2019re a perfect pair of \u201closer\u201d husband and wife lol.<\/p>\n<p>That said, we\u2019re all having fun as a family, so please continue to enjoy the blog \u201cWelcome Home, PORSCHE.\u201d<br \/>\n(What kind of ending is this lol)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I often see posts by Nob-san on X. His posts are always interesting, so I can\u2019t help but read them. Men who love cars are a hassle for women looking for marriage partners. But apparently, you can tell if he\u2019ll be a good husband in the future with a simple question. \u201cAsk him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can\u2019t immediately say \u2018minivan,\u2019 he\u2019s definitely a loser!\u201d That\u2019s what...","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":32923,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_locale":"en_US","_original_post":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/?p=32994"},"categories":[2],"tags":[194],"yoast_head":"<title>Men Who Can\u2019t Instantly Say \u201cMinivan\u201d When Asked What Car They Want After Kids Are Born Are Definitely Losers\u2026 - \u30dd\u30eb\u30b7\u30a7\u304c\u308f\u304c\u5bb6\u306b\u3084\u3063\u3066\u304d\u305f - \u30aa\u30fc\u30ca\u30fc\u30ba\u30d6\u30ed\u30b0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A lively discussion about the stereotype that men who don\u2019t immediately say \u201cminivan\u201d when asked what car they want after having kids are losers. Exploring societal expectations, personal happiness, and the freedom to choose your own path\u2014even if it means owning multiple cars and loving sporty rides.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/kuzu\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Men Who Can\u2019t Instantly Say \u201cMinivan\u201d When Asked What Car They Want After Kids Are Born Are Definitely Losers\u2026 - \u30dd\u30eb\u30b7\u30a7\u304c\u308f\u304c\u5bb6\u306b\u3084\u3063\u3066\u304d\u305f - \u30aa\u30fc\u30ca\u30fc\u30ba\u30d6\u30ed\u30b0\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A lively discussion about the stereotype that men who don\u2019t immediately say \u201cminivan\u201d when asked what car they want after having kids are losers. 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Exploring societal expectations, personal happiness, and the freedom to choose your own path\u2014even if it means owning multiple cars and loving sporty rides.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/kuzu\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Men Who Can\u2019t Instantly Say \u201cMinivan\u201d When Asked What Car They Want After Kids Are Born Are Definitely Losers\u2026 - \u30dd\u30eb\u30b7\u30a7\u304c\u308f\u304c\u5bb6\u306b\u3084\u3063\u3066\u304d\u305f - \u30aa\u30fc\u30ca\u30fc\u30ba\u30d6\u30ed\u30b0","og_description":"A lively discussion about the stereotype that men who don\u2019t immediately say \u201cminivan\u201d when asked what car they want after having kids are losers. 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