Yesterday, both kids went to bed unusually early, so my husband and I had a long-overdue heart-to-heart about life. And we were completely sober (neither of us drinks)<\/span>. I can\u2019t remember how we got onto the subject, but at one point we found ourselves saying:<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone who\u2019s successful seems to say the same thing: just do what you want to do.\u201d<\/p>\n That led me to reflect: \u201cI think I might be happier now than at any other point in my life. Maybe that\u2019s because I\u2019m doing more of what I really want to do than ever before.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Looking back, I may have seemed to be doing what I wanted, but in reality, I wasn\u2019t. I think I was gritting my teeth and pushing myself to the limit, mostly to meet other people\u2019s expectations and earn their approval.<\/strong><\/p>\n There\u2019s value in working hard, of course. But when you\u2019re not doing something you truly want to do, you can\u2019t help feeling uneasy and unhappy. I put pressure on myself to get results and worked desperately hard. I also believed that if you tried hard enough, you could achieve just about anything.<\/strong><\/p>\n Recently, my outlook changed completely. I learned that \u201csometimes, no matter how hard you work, you still don\u2019t get the results you want.\u201d<\/strong> I\u2019d always given each challenge everything I had: university entrance exams, job hunting, starting my first job, and aiming to become a top salesperson. And, for the most part, I\u2019d managed to get results.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why \u201cif you work hard, you can achieve just about anything\u201d<\/strong> had always been something I could rely on.<\/p>\n But when I was 27, I took on a particular challenge. Nearly nine years later, despite working harder throughout that time than I ever had before, I still hadn\u2019t achieved what I wanted. In fact, I hadn\u2019t even reached one percent of my goal, and nine out of ten things I tried didn\u2019t work out.<\/p>\n \u201cEven comedians who haven\u2019t made it can finally get their big break after ten years.\u201d I told myself that if I kept going, I\u2019d eventually succeed. If I wasn\u2019t getting results, it must mean I wasn\u2019t working hard enough. So I pushed myself even further, until I became ill. No matter how much I slept, I was always exhausted. I got frustrated with the kids and kept asking myself the same questions. And then, nine years had passed.<\/p>\n Then, earlier this year, I felt the landscape of my field change completely. I had to face the fact that, if I kept going as I was, I had no chance of winning. That was when I finally thought, \u201cAh\u2026 I\u2019ve lost. Completely.\u201d<\/strong> The pressure lifted, and in a way, I felt relieved. I could finally accept that it was time to quit.<\/p>\n Maybe there was a way to keep going. But I\u2019d done all I could, and I was ready to let it go. For me, deciding not to do something took more courage than deciding to keep doing it.<\/strong><\/p>\n Still, over those nine years, I discovered something about myself: \u201cI may be good at\u2014and genuinely enjoy\u2014sharing the things I believe in with a wider audience.\u201d<\/strong> And that realization naturally connected with this blog, which I\u2019d been writing as a casual hobby since last year.<\/p>\n I love Porsche, and the number of readers was growing. I started thinking it might be time to take the blog seriously. So in April, I moved it from Hatena Blog to WordPress and began running it in earnest.<\/p>\n It\u2019s been almost two months since then, and this might be the happiest I\u2019ve ever been. Because I\u2019m doing something I love.<\/strong> I get to write about Porsche, a brand I adore, and help someone who\u2019s thinking about buying a Porsche. I can share the joy with other enthusiasts, too.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t get much better than that.<\/p>\n I still have to wake up at night to feed our one-year-old, so I\u2019m definitely not getting a full night\u2019s sleep. Even so, I wake up before six feeling refreshed. I start wondering what to write about that day, and ideas come pouring in.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve never felt anything like this in my 36 years.<\/p>\n The world I\u2019d thought was \u201cright\u201d was actually very small. The world itself is enormous. Through my Porsche blog, I\u2019ve also learned that people live rich, fulfilling lives\u2014earning plenty of money and having time to enjoy it\u2014in ways I\u2019d never imagined. That\u2019s been a real eye-opener.<\/p>\n When I told my husband all this yesterday, he said:<\/p>\n \u201cWhy not just ask Porsche to hire you as a salesperson? I bet you\u2019d sell a ton. (-_-)\u201d<\/p>\n You know, he might be right. I\u2019m confident I could sell a fair number of cars. I wasn\u2019t even interested in Porsche three years ago, but I did spend three years as a top salesperson in my previous job, so I have the skills. And above all, Porsche makes incredible products.<\/p>\n As I look ahead, I want to live a rich and fulfilling life\u2014being honest with myself, following my heart, and finding reasons to smile. I\u2019ve come to understand that only through everything I\u2019ve experienced so far. It\u2019s a reminder that no experience is ever truly wasted.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A Long-Overdue Heart-to-Heart Yesterday, both kids went to bed unusually early, so my husband and I had a long-overdue heart-to-heart about life. And we were completely sober (neither of us drinks). I can\u2019t remember how we got onto the subject, but at one point we found ourselves saying: \u201cEveryone who\u2019s successful seems to say the same thing: just do what you want to do.\u201d That led me to reflect: \u201cI think I might be happier...","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":2107,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_locale":"en_US","_original_post":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/?p=2097","footnotes":""},"categories":[73,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aboutblog","category-nocar-nolife","en-US"],"yoast_head":"Was I Really Doing What I Wanted Before?<\/h3>\n
When My Beliefs Fell Apart<\/h3>\n
\n\u201cRakuten and Amazon didn\u2019t have it easy in their first few years, either.\u201d<\/p>\nWhat I Realized in 2018<\/h3>\n
A Feeling I\u2019ve Never Had Before<\/h3>\n
Should I Become a Porsche Salesperson?<\/h3>\n