Because I often write on this blog about my husband and me talking about cars, you might think we\u2019ve always been a chatty couple. We haven\u2019t. There was a time when we barely spoke at all, and I started to worry that something was seriously wrong.<\/p>\n
It was only after cars became a shared hobby that our conversations really took off.<\/strong><\/p>\n We\u2019ve never been the type to turn to each other with every worry or talk through everything on our minds. We tend to deal with things on our own. And while \u201cwe don\u2019t interfere in each other\u2019s lives\u201d might sound cool, we ask so few questions about each other that you\u2019d think we weren\u2019t interested at all (laughs).<\/strong><\/p>\n For example, if my husband says he\u2019s heading out on a four-day, three-night motorcycle tour by himself, I don\u2019t know where he\u2019s staying. If he won\u2019t be home for dinner, all that goes on our shared Google Calendar is \u201cNo dinner needed.\u201d<\/strong> I don\u2019t know who he\u2019s going with or what they\u2019re going to eat. Then, much later, he might casually say, \u201cOh, by the way, I went out to dinner with [someone] the other day.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n And my husband doesn\u2019t ask where I\u2019m going or who I\u2019ll be with when I head out, either.<\/p>\n We\u2019re pretty low-key about it (laughs).<\/p>\n We\u2019re also both hopeless at remembering anniversaries. Even our wedding anniversary can pass unnoticed until a Facebook reminder pops up. Then, sometime that evening, one of us will message the other: \u201cDid you know it\u2019s our anniversary today?\u201d \u201cOh, I forgot.\u201d<\/strong> We\u2019ve never exchanged Christmas presents or gone out for a special Christmas dinner. And when I ask my husband if he wants anything for Valentine\u2019s Day, he says:<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s just the chocolate companies\u2019 way of getting people to buy more chocolate. I don\u2019t need any!\u201d<\/p>\n So I just buy myself a treat and enjoy it (laughs).<\/p>\n Birthdays are much the same. My husband says he doesn\u2019t want a present (though I could still get him something even if he says that)<\/span>, while I\u2019m more likely to say, \u201cI want a Mac for work!\u201d than ask for jewelry or a handbag. There\u2019s not much romance in our relationship.<\/p>\n Even so, for the first few years of our marriage, we did talk about things like \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about this lately\u201d<\/strong> and \u201cThis is how things are changing at work.\u201d<\/strong> Our conversations dwindled after our second daughter was born in 2017.<\/p>\n With two children to look after, I had a lot more to do and was constantly short on sleep. By the time my husband got home from work, I\u2019d be taking over bedtime from him\u2014and often falling asleep right alongside the kids.<\/p>\n On days off, I was usually exhausted and sleeping, too. It felt as if all we said to each other in a day was \u201cGood morning,\u201d \u201cWelcome home,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m home,\u201d<\/strong> and \u201cGood night.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n After a few months of living like that, a number of things came to a head, and I finally let out all the feelings I\u2019d been holding in. My husband and I agreed that \u201cwe\u2019ve had far too few everyday conversations lately, so we should make time to talk.\u201d<\/strong> But at the same time, I found myself thinking:<\/p>\n Wait\u2014when we say \u201ceveryday conversation,\u201d what are we even supposed to talk about? (-_-)\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n We\u2019d gone so long without really talking that I\u2019d forgotten how to start a conversation naturally or what might give us a reason to chat.<\/p>\n Even after that conversation, though, we didn\u2019t suddenly start talking more. Then, in June of the following year, I started this blog on a whim. As I began to take more interest in Porsche and cars, questions like \u201cWhat\u2019s the new model they just announced like?\u201d<\/strong> and \u201cWhat does torque mean? And what\u2019s a chassis?\u201d<\/strong> started coming up naturally\u2014or, more accurately, our conversations got a lot more geeky (laughs).<\/span><\/p>\n Cars were the starting point, but they opened the door to all sorts of other conversations, too.<\/p>\n Looking back, I\u2019ve come to think of communication as being like blood flow. If blood gets blocked somewhere, it can become sluggish and lead to health problems. It needs to keep flowing freely for the body to stay healthy.<\/p>\n Communication works the same way. Casual chats and everyday conversation create an atmosphere where it feels natural to talk. That foundation makes it easier to discuss important things, too, and helps keep family life healthy.<\/p>\n Trying too hard to face each other or spend time together can sometimes feel difficult or forced. But lately, I\u2019ve been reminded how nice it is to share time around something we\u2019re both genuinely interested in.<\/p>\n Honestly, Porsche, thank you so much! (\uff9f\u2200\uff9f)<\/span><\/p>\n I hope that, through our shared love of cars, my husband and I can keep finding ways to enjoy life together\u2014and stay close for years to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A Couple Who Kept to Themselves Because I often write on this blog about my husband and me talking about cars, you might think we\u2019ve always been a chatty couple. We haven\u2019t. There was a time when we barely spoke at all, and I started to worry that something was seriously wrong. It was only after cars became a shared hobby that our conversations really took off. We\u2019ve never been the type to turn to...","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":3030,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_locale":"en_US","_original_post":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/?p=3023","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36810","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nocar-nolife","en-US"],"yoast_head":"Not Exactly Big on Special Occasions<\/h3>\n
Things Changed After Our Second Daughter Was Born<\/h3>\n
Thanks to Porsche<\/h3>\n