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My Stance<\/h3>\n
I think my husband and I are a bit different from the typical couple, so first, I\u2019ll write about my basic stance as a wife.<\/p>\n
1 Do what you love, but please earn well<\/h4>\n
Saying \u201cDo what you love, but please earn well\u201d<\/strong> sounds pretty bossy, doesn\u2019t it? Basically, I think:<\/p>\n \u201cI want my husband to do what he loves, boost his motivation, and in return, earn a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n When I say this to close friends, they often say \u201cThat\u2019s such an old-fashioned way of thinking.\u201d<\/strong> Nowadays, with more dual-income households, there\u2019s a trend that couples should share housework, and husbands should actively help with kids and chores on their days off. But I don\u2019t expect that from my husband.<\/p>\n If he liked doing housework, I might ask him to help, but he often says \u201cI hate being forced to share housework; I won\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/strong> Forcing him to do chores he doesn\u2019t want to do would just build stress and hurt his work performance.<\/p>\n So my thinking is: \u201cDon\u2019t do housework, just do what you love, and in return, please earn a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019ve told him this clearly. Put another way, if he ends up \u201cdoing what he loves and spending money on it but not earning enough,\u201d<\/strong> well, you can bet I\u2019ll be seriously pissed off (lol).<\/p>\n On top of that, my stance is \u201cYou do what you love, so I do what I love, too.\u201d<\/strong> When we got married, my husband said,<\/p>\n \u201cIf you want to be a full-time housewife, go ahead. If you want to work, go ahead. Just do what you love and stay happy.\u201d<\/p>\n So I said, \u201cGot it! I\u2019ll take you up on that!\u201d<\/strong> and I\u2019ve been doing what I want ever since.<\/p>\n Even after marriage and having kids, I wanted to keep working in some form, so I\u2019ve been working for about 15 years since becoming a working adult (though at this age, I\u2019m not exactly sure anymore lol)<\/span>. Of course, after having kids, there are things like \u201cpicking them up from kindergarten or daycare\u201d<\/strong> and \u201crushing to the hospital when they have a fever,\u201d<\/strong> but I\u2019ve adjusted my working style through trial and error and with my husband\u2019s support, I\u2019ve managed so far.<\/p>\n Now, I want to write this Porsche blog and have so many things I want to do that I sometimes get overwhelmed and almost burn out. My husband often says,<\/p>\n \u201cHey, you don\u2019t have to try so hard. Take it easy.\u201d<\/p>\n But I reply, \u201cBut I want to do what I want!\u201d<\/strong> and he lets me do my thing. Basically, I\u2019m the type who won\u2019t give up on what I want to do, so if my husband ever said something like \u201cWomen should stay home\u201d<\/strong> or \u201cI earn the money, so you have to listen to me,\u201d<\/strong> I\u2019d definitely lose it.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not good at housework and don\u2019t really like it. So, I barely clean and only turn on the Roomba a few times a week.<\/strong> I don\u2019t cook fancy meals, and if I\u2019m too lazy, I often buy ready-made food. (Lately, I\u2019ve been using a Panasonic Rotisserie Grill & Smoke<\/a> to make pizza and roast beef, but basically, I only make things that just need to be set and left alone.)<\/span><\/p>\n But toward my husband, since I don\u2019t do housework, I give off the vibe of \u201cDon\u2019t tell me to clean better\u201d<\/strong> or \u201cDon\u2019t expect me to prepare more varied meals.\u201d<\/strong> And in fact, he\u2019s never said those things. Recently, he even said \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just hire a housekeeper?\u201d<\/strong> (lol).<\/p>\n I do the family\u2019s housework, but my stance is \u201cWe\u2019re both adults, so take care of yourselves.\u201d<\/strong> So even if my husband\u2019s room is messy, I don\u2019t clean it. If I wonder, \u201cIs this laundry?\u201d but it\u2019s not in the laundry basket, I don\u2019t wash it.<\/p>\n I also believe health and condition management are not the wife\u2019s job but something each person should be conscious of. So if he says, for example, \u201cMake meals mostly vegetables\u201d<\/strong> or \u201cI want to diet, so no fried food,\u201d<\/strong> I\u2019ll do it, but I don\u2019t initiate it.<\/p>\n \u2026Writing all this out, you might think \u201cShe\u2019s understanding about cars, but as a wife, she\u2019s kind of a handful.\u201d<\/strong> (-_-)<\/p>\n Actually, my husband and I had similar experiences before we met, so we were both in the <\/p>\n \u201cIf marriage means I can\u2019t do what I want, then I won\u2019t get married\u201d camp.<\/p>\n But after talking a lot, we realized we shared the idea of \u201cNot fitting ourselves into society\u2019s image of a couple, but cherishing what we love.\u201d<\/strong> That\u2019s why we decided to get married.<\/p>\n My husband\u2019s friends were apparently surprised, saying \u201cNo way, that \u25cb\u25cb who said she\u2019d never marry is actually getting married!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n About nine years ago, just after I started my current job, I met my husband, who is seven years older. I was going through a tough time with work, so he often gave me advice, and even after we married, he helped me a lot with website and server stuff. (He\u2019s an IT guy.)<\/span><\/p>\n Still, I\u2019ve always been the type to handle things on my own, so my habit of \u201cbreaking down, burning out, and only then opening up to my husband\u201d hasn\u2019t changed. He\u2019d say \u201cHere we go again lol\u201d<\/strong> and listen to me.<\/p>\n After our eldest daughter was born, I burned out trying to juggle work and childcare and tearfully told him, \u201cI\u2019m quitting this job!\u201d<\/strong> He asked,<\/p>\n \u201cOkay. If that\u2019s what you want, go ahead. But what do you really want?\u201d<\/p>\n and each time, I\u2019d rally with \u201cNo way I\u2019m giving up now!\u201d<\/strong> (I\u2019m pretty simple-minded, honestly lol)<\/span><\/p>\n This year, after the results of my work so far, I completely burned out and decided to reduce my workload and focus seriously on this Porsche blog. At that time, he quietly said,<\/p>\n \u201cIf that\u2019s what you want, Mina, then that\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n If I were in his shoes, I\u2019d probably say, \u201cYou\u2019ve come this far, don\u2019t give up now\u2014that\u2019d be a waste!\u201d<\/strong> (lol). Then he said,<\/p>\n \u201cIf you\u2019re serious about the Porsche blog, I\u2019ll support you.\u201d<\/p>\n He started helping with the blog\u2019s server, tuning, and providing ideas. Just recently, when I burned out from overworking<\/a>, he laughed and said,<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t have to work so hard. Take breaks when you need to lol.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/DSC_0046-800x530.jpg\")
<\/p>\n2 I do what I love, too<\/h4>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/DSC_0045-800x530.jpg\")
<\/p>\n3 Don\u2019t complain about housework<\/h4>\n
4 Take care of yourself<\/h4>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/DSC_0047-800x530.jpg\")
<\/p>\nThe Freedom I\u2019ve Been Given\u2026<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/IMG_0050-600x800.jpeg\")
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