{"id":37367,"date":"2021-06-12T06:00:53","date_gmt":"2021-06-11T21:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/?p=37367"},"modified":"2021-07-28T21:08:41","modified_gmt":"2021-07-28T12:08:41","slug":"husband-wants-lexus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/husband-wants-lexus\/","title":{"rendered":"To Wives Who Oppose Their Husbands Buying a Sports Car or Luxury Car: Let Them Enjoy the Purchase!"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_74 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">\u30b3\u30f3\u30c6\u30f3\u30c4<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/husband-wants-lexus\/#A_Wife_Opposes_Her_Husband_Buying_a_Lexus\" >A Wife Opposes Her Husband Buying a Lexus<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/husband-wants-lexus\/#What_Does_My_Husband_Think\" >What Does My Husband Think?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/husband-wants-lexus\/#Why_Couples_Oppose_Each_Others_Choices\" >Why Couples Oppose Each Other\u2019s Choices<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/en\/entry\/husband-wants-lexus\/#The_%E2%80%9CWinning-School_Mindset%E2%80%9D_and_Luxury_Cars\" >The \u201cWinning-School Mindset\u201d and Luxury Cars<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<h3 class=\"style3a\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_Wife_Opposes_Her_Husband_Buying_a_Lexus\"><\/span>A Wife Opposes Her Husband Buying a Lexus<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>The other day, I came across an interesting article that someone had shared on Twitter.<\/p>\n<p class=\"well2\">\u201cMy husband earns \u00a512 million a year and wants to buy an \u00a58 million Lexus. Should I let him?\u201d A stay-at-home mom asks for advice\u2014and gets a chilly response.<\/p>\n<p>The family consists of a 47-year-old husband, a 42-year-old wife, and a child in second grade, so I assume it\u2019s a family of three.<\/p>\n<p>The husband currently drives an old Toyota Sienta. But recently, he said that at a dinner, all the women from his company wanted to ride in the Lexus, Crown, and new Harrier driven by his colleagues and subordinates. No one wanted to ride in his car, and he felt embarrassed. He now says he wants to replace it with a <strong>brand-new Lexus RX<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-23932\" src=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/img_gallery_05.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The wife\u2019s perspective:<\/p>\n<p class=\"well2\">Sure, a nicer car might make a good impression on my mom friends and people around us, but my husband hardly ever drives. I don\u2019t want to spend that much on a car. I\u2019d rather put the money toward <strong>our child\u2019s future and our retirement<\/strong>. We currently have \u00a580 million in financial assets, including savings and investment trusts, but I don\u2019t want to spend a tenth of the money we\u2019ve worked so hard to save.<\/p>\n<p>So it seems she turned to Yahoo! Chiebukuro, a Japanese Q&#038;A site, for advice.<\/p>\n<p>The most common response was along the lines of, \u201c<strong>Your husband earns enough\u2014let him drive the car he wants.<\/strong>\u201d In the end, the wife who posted the question apparently decided to find a way to make the purchase work, perhaps by cutting back on her husband\u2019s bonus-time spending money.<\/p>\n<p>I see. Though, wow\u2014\u00a580 million in financial assets is impressive!<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"style3a\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_Does_My_Husband_Think\"><\/span>What Does My Husband Think?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>I asked my husband, \u201c<strong>I saw this article. What do you think?<\/strong>\u201d He replied:<\/p>\n<p class=\"well3\">Well\u2026 There are definitely wives who oppose their husbands buying a sports car or luxury car, even when their husbands earn good money. But I think those wives have unconsciously decided, \u201c<strong>My husband isn\u2019t going to earn any more than he does now.<\/strong>\u201d<br \/>\nThey might not say it out loud, but I think they oppose the purchase because, deep down, that\u2019s what they believe.<br \/>\nSomeone might argue that \u201c<strong>it\u2019s unrealistic for a salaried employee to earn more than they do now<\/strong>,\u201d but there are all kinds of ways to increase your income, including side jobs and investing.<br \/>\nStill, wives who object in situations like this tend to assume there\u2019s a ceiling on their husband\u2019s income. And that amounts to saying, \u201c<strong>I don\u2019t believe in my husband\u2019s potential.<\/strong>\u201d<br \/>\nIn this case, if the husband said he wanted a new RX, I\u2019d love for his wife to say, \u201cWait, an \u00a58 million RX? If you\u2019re going to buy one, you might as well go for an LS at around \u00a515 million!\u201d [laughs]<br \/>\nThat would make him stop and think. He\u2019d realize he needs to earn more and work harder. I think a husband with a wife like that could really thrive\u2014though, of course, it also depends on his personality and abilities.<\/p>\n<p>He said that.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-23933\" src=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/img_gallery_12.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Listening to him, I wondered if wives like that might not only doubt their husbands\u2019 potential, but also <strong>struggle to believe in themselves<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>If things went wrong, perhaps they wouldn\u2019t feel confident they could endure it and get through it. The thought of their husbands being demoted or laid off might make them anxious, so they cling desperately to the security of their current situation.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"style3a\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Couples_Oppose_Each_Others_Choices\"><\/span>Why Couples Oppose Each Other\u2019s Choices<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>Life is full of unexpected turns, and things can happen that we never imagined. But even if a husband suddenly lost his job one day, you might be able to think:<\/p>\n<p class=\"well2\">If that happens, we can move somewhere with cheaper rent. In the worst case, we could sell or give up everything and move in with my parents. I could get a job too, which would help. We could live off our savings while my husband looks for another job, and somehow we\u2019d manage.<\/p>\n<p>If you can think that way, perhaps you\u2019ll see things differently.<\/p>\n<p>In my twenties, I started a business without really knowing what I was doing, and I struggled quite a bit\u2014especially financially. When I ran out of money, I\u2019d walk for an hour to cover the distance of three train stops. On sale days, I\u2019d buy instant ramen by the case and eat it for every meal. I went through plenty of other humiliating and miserable moments, too.<\/p>\n<p>But those experiences taught me:<\/p>\n<p class=\"well3\">\u201cEven earning \u00a510,000 from nothing is incredibly hard, so I want my husband to have as much freedom as possible to spend the money he works so hard to earn.\u201d And, \u201cI managed to get through that difficult time, so I won\u2019t be shaken by every little thing in the future. I\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That experience may sound dramatic, but it was so profound that it changed how I see life.<\/p>\n<p>So if my husband came to me and said, \u201c<strong>I want to do this\u201d or \u201cI want that<\/strong>,\u201d I think I\u2019d support him\u2014as long as it wasn\u2019t something that put his life at risk. At least, that\u2019s how I feel right now. [laughs]<\/p>\n<p>Even if it didn\u2019t work out and we thought, \u201c<strong>That was a mistake<\/strong>,\u201d the experience wouldn\u2019t be wasted; it would become hard-earned wisdom. And if things went well, we\u2019d get to enjoy the feeling of success and move up to a new stage in life. Either way, we\u2019d gain something, so why not take the chance?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve wandered a little off topic, but when we oppose what our partners want to do, it may ultimately reflect a lack of trust in ourselves\u2014a lack of confidence. And I think the same may be true when a husband opposes something his wife wants to do.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"style3a\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_%E2%80%9CWinning-School_Mindset%E2%80%9D_and_Luxury_Cars\"><\/span>The \u201cWinning-School Mindset\u201d and Luxury Cars<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>My husband also had this to say:<\/p>\n<p class=\"well3\">I once heard of something called the \u201c<strong>winning-school mindset<\/strong>.\u201d<br \/>\nFor players at a high school that regularly makes it to the national baseball championship, getting there probably feels normal. But for players at a school that\u2019s never made it, reaching the tournament might seem like an impossible dream. Even before you get to skill, that difference in mindset can have a major impact on the chances of making it.<br \/>\nIn other words, the environment we grow up in shapes what we consider normal. Those assumptions can become mental blocks without us even realizing it.<br \/>\nSo wives who oppose their husbands buying a sports car or luxury car may have grown up in an environment where they learned that <strong>buying a luxury car or sports car is out of the question<\/strong>.<br \/>\nThere\u2019s no one-size-fits-all answer about whether that\u2019s good or bad, but I want to raise our children with as few mental blocks as possible. If they believe something is impossible, they\u2019ll never achieve it\u2014even if they have the ability.<br \/>\nFortunately, our kids don\u2019t see a Porsche as something special, for better or worse. They probably think, \u201cIf I want one someday, I can buy one.\u201d At the very least, it doesn\u2019t seem like some far-off dream to them.<br \/>\nWhether it\u2019s about money or anything else, I hope they can live without being bound by what society considers normal\u2014and without deciding from the start that something is beyond their reach.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what he said.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-23934\" src=\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/img_gallery_01.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Every family has its own circumstances and values, and everyone has their own way of life. Having children also means having more people to protect, so there are things we can\u2019t do as easily as before.<\/p>\n<p>Still, we only get one life. When faced with a big decision, I hope we can choose what excites us\u2014even if it comes with some risk\u2014instead of always choosing to protect the status quo. That\u2019s what I\u2019ve been thinking lately.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lexus.jp\/models\/rx\/gallery\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-size: 8pt;\">*Image source: LEXUS RX GALLERY<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A Wife Opposes Her Husband Buying a Lexus The other day, I came across an interesting article that someone had shared on Twitter. \u201cMy husband earns \u00a512 million a year and wants to buy an \u00a58 million Lexus. Should I let him?\u201d A stay-at-home mom asks for advice\u2014and gets a chilly response. The family consists of a 47-year-old husband, a 42-year-old wife, and a child in second grade, so I assume it\u2019s a family of...","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":23931,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_locale":"en_US","_original_post":"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/?p=23815","footnotes":""},"categories":[268],"tags":[194,203],"class_list":["post-37367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to-buy-porsche","tag-success","tag-bmw","en-US"],"yoast_head":"<title>To Wives Who Oppose Their Husbands Buying a Sports Car or Luxury Car: Let Them Enjoy the Purchase! - \u30dd\u30eb\u30b7\u30a7\u304c\u308f\u304c\u5bb6\u306b\u3084\u3063\u3066\u304d\u305f - \u30aa\u30fc\u30ca\u30fc\u30ba\u30d6\u30ed\u30b0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Thinking about buying a Porsche or luxury car? 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