I met my husband 10 years ago. Back then, he had only been running his business for 2 or 3 years, and his beloved car was a used, old BMW 318i (which sometimes wouldn\u2019t start, lol)<\/span>. His office was just a corner rented inside a senior colleague\u2019s office, and he commuted by bicycle every day. \u201cA car-loving husband commuting by bike<\/strong>\u201d \u2014 now that\u2019s hard to believe, isn\u2019t it? lol<\/p>\n Time passed\u2026 the company office got bigger and better located, and there are now several Porsches at home\u2026 so naturally, my friend says, \u201cMina is an \u2018ageman\u2019<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n But I\u2019m not an \u201cageman.\u201d I\u2019m not saying this out of modesty\u2014I truly am not one (-_-).<\/p>\n When I hear \u201cageman,\u201d I picture a woman who<\/p>\n \u201csupports her husband, praises him, cares about his health, endures hardships together, constantly encourages him, and leads him to success.\u201d<\/p>\n Unfortunately, I haven\u2019t done any of that.<\/p>\n When my husband said, \u201cI don\u2019t need breakfast, just one rice ball is fine<\/strong>,\u201d I took it literally and still only make him one rice ball in the morning. On days off, I might not even make that. Looking back on our marriage, I don\u2019t recall encouraging or diligently supporting him.<\/p>\n There was a time when I tried hard to \u201cbe a supportive, good wife<\/strong>,\u201d making lunch boxes and cooking salmon or tamagoyaki for breakfast, but after about three months, I got exhausted and thought, \u201cNope, being a good wife isn\u2019t for me<\/strong>,\u201d and gave up.<\/p>\n Writing this, I feel like a terribly bad wife (laughs).<\/p>\n After being called an \u201cageman\u201d by my friend, I searched the term online and was surprised to find many how-to articles like \u201cLearn the mindset of an ageman and become a woman loved by her boyfriend!<\/strong>\u201d or \u201cSix ways to boost your boyfriend\u2019s luck<\/strong>.\u201d It seems this is a hot topic among women.<\/p>\n But at the same time, I felt a bit uneasy reading those articles.<\/strong> That\u2019s because I believe<\/p>\n it\u2019s better to focus on meeting men who have a high potential for future success than to try hard to become an \u201cageman.\u201d<\/p>\n So, what follows is purely my personal opinion, not based on data, just what I\u2019ve observed in myself and those around me. Please take it as \u201chere\u2019s another way to think about it<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n Even if a woman tries hard to be an \u201cageman,\u201d if the man is someone who says, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want to try that hard; I\u2019m fine as I am<\/strong>,\u201d it\u2019s tough to lead him to success. Even if it\u2019s possible, it requires enormous patience, determination, and time from the woman.<\/p>\n Also, if the woman tries too hard, she might develop excessive expectations or demands for reciprocation, leading to frustration like, \u201cI\u2019m doing so much for you, why won\u2019t you try harder!?<\/strong>\u201d which makes both parties unhappy.<\/p>\n Just as a peach seed grows into a peach tree and an apple seed into an apple tree, telling a peach seed to \u201cbecome an apple\u201d is impossible (though that probably made it more confusing, lol)<\/span>.<\/p>\n First, it\u2019s important to find a man who has the desire to \u201csucceed and aim higher<\/strong>\u201d and is steadily taking action toward that goal.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, how do you meet such men?<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n The easiest and most promising way is<\/p>\n \u201cto aim higher yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Like attracts like, and people with similar wavelengths and values naturally come together, regardless of gender. So, to meet men with ambition, you should also aim higher yourself.<\/p>\n But here, \u201caiming higher\u201d doesn\u2019t just mean \u201cgetting promoted at work\u201d or \u201cstarting a business.\u201d<\/strong> What I mean is \u201cacting with the mindset to keep growing no matter your age.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n It means things like \u201ctrying new challenges,\u201d \u201cfeeling nervous but bravely giving it a shot,\u201d and \u201cliving life with hunger and ambition.\u201d<\/p>\n By showing up in places where such people gather and connecting with them, the people you meet and are introduced to will naturally change.<\/p>\n Changing your environment takes courage at first, but if you keep it up, your chances of meeting men who will succeed in the future will increase.<\/strong><\/p>\n You\u2019ll also get a feel for how people who achieve their goals think and act before you get married.<\/p>\n More importantly, even if it doesn\u2019t lead to marriage, increasing your own chances of success is a great way to hedge life\u2019s risks (laughs).<\/strong><\/p>\n When I tell women this, I often hear, \u201cBut women who are that ambitious aren\u2019t popular, right?<\/strong>\u201d or \u201cMen like feminine women, so ambitious women get married late.<\/strong>\u201d But I don\u2019t think that\u2019s always true.<\/p>\n Though I don\u2019t have data, among the \u201cambitious women<\/strong>\u201d around me, many are graceful, strong, warm, and very attractive\u2014and they\u2019ve found wonderful partners who suit them. (Of course, many men do like gentle, feminine women.)<\/span><\/p>\n For example, before I started my business, I was not popular at all (lol). When I talked about work, people often reacted with \u201cWow, that\u2019s amazing. You really love your job, huh\u2026<\/strong>\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re a woman thinking about starting a business\u2026 seriously\u2026!?<\/strong>\u201d \u2014 clearly taken aback.<\/p>\n But once I started my business and met different people, my \u201cbiggest and last\u201d period of popularity arrived.<\/p>\n Instead of being put off, I got responses like \u201cAmbitious women are great<\/strong>\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s nice to be independent<\/strong>,\u201d and I received more active invitations. Sadly, at that time, I was so focused on \u201crunning and growing my company<\/strong>\u201d that I declined almost all invitations and spent my days off working.<\/p>\n Oh, what a story\u2026 (T_T) lol<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.panamera-life.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/IMG_0609-800x600.jpeg\")
<\/p>\nWhat\u2019s More Important Than Being an Ageman<\/h3>\n
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<\/p>\nHow to Meet Successful Men<\/h3>\n
My Husband and Me<\/h3>\n
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