Since I write a Porsche blog, I often find myself reading all kinds of car blogs.
Every time I read them, I think, “Everyone really loves cars, don’t they?” When I look at blogs about my current beloved car, the Swift Sport, I see people changing parts and customizing their cars to suit their driving preferences, which shows how much they enjoy their car life. It’s very educational.
But on the other hand, I often come across posts like “I wanted to buy a new car, but my wife opposed it, so it didn’t happen.”
Every family has its own way of thinking, so there’s no single “right answer!” But today, I want to share my perspective as a wife who, in some way, enjoys car life together with her husband.
Personally, I think it’s better not to oppose your husband’s desire to buy a car, but rather to “actively nurture his passion for cars.”
The feeling of “liking something or wanting something” is an incredible driving force.
Having motivation like “I want this, I want to do that” is better than having no desires or goals at all. If that feeling can be channeled positively into your husband’s work and life, that’s even better.
Specifically, I think it’s good to guide him toward “working hard to increase his income to afford the car he wants!”
After considering how much down payment is needed and how much the monthly payments will increase, I’d say something like, “Well, if you can increase your income by that much, then go ahead and buy it!” (Sounds a bit bossy, like a manager, huh? lol)
Of course, saving money is important, but there’s a limit to that. If you’re already saving and your husband suddenly says, “I want to buy a new car!” you might want to say, “Where on earth is that money supposed to come from!?” But…
If you nurture your husband’s motivation to “want a car” and encourage him to work toward increasing his income, the household’s overall income may rise as a result, leading to better outcomes. (On the other hand, if he says he wants a car but refuses to try to increase his income, I’d be totally against it! lol)
Reading blogs also makes me think that just saying “I want to buy this car” to your wife will naturally lead to opposition.
If you show concrete actions like “I plan to start a side job to cover the extra expenses” and discuss it with her, then take action and produce results, your wife’s attitude will likely change at least a little.
You don’t need to make a big investment; nowadays, there are plenty of ways to increase income without upfront costs, so it’s worth trying for your own career growth.
Another important point is “knowing what values and priorities your wife holds dear.”
If your wife values “stability,” you’ll need to reassure her with presentations or actions that “this won’t disrupt our stable life.” If she values “spending time together as a family (and dislikes the idea of her husband buying a car just for himself and being free on weekends),” then promising to prioritize family time more or looking for a sports car the whole family can enjoy might be good options.
Even as a married couple, you come from different backgrounds and ways of thinking. There’s no such thing as “understanding each other perfectly just because we’ve been together a long time.” The willingness to understand each other remains important no matter how many years pass. (We’re still novices ourselves…)
By the way, my husband and I are a couple who strongly value “freedom.” Both of us had a strong belief that “if we lose our freedom, we won’t get married,” so when we decided to marry, many people around us were surprised, saying, “What!? That person is getting married!?” (laughs)
So for me, the more freedom my husband has, the more freedom I can openly enjoy. I want him to be as free as possible, and since he declared he won’t do housework, I freely ask him, “Then please hire a cleaning service” or “buy time-saving appliances,” so… in a way, I’m quite grateful to him.
Currently, I’m the wife who says to my husband, “I want a car, so I’ll work to increase my income!” It’s a bit unusual, but we hope to continue freely working toward a richer car life and life together as a couple.