This whole sequence reminds me a lot of the saying in romance, “If pushing doesn’t work, try pulling.”
Until then, I had been told over and over, “Drive, drive!” and I kept refusing, saying “No, I can’t, thanks.” But the moment I was a little willing to try, I was told, “Don’t drive,” which lit a fire (laughs).
My husband didn’t say that to provoke me on purpose; I think
“He really thought my driving skills at the time would break the clutch of the owner’s precious car, so he stopped me.”
But this was the unexpected result. I’m sure even he was surprised by how things turned out… lol
Of course, it’s not like saying “If your wife won’t drive, just tell her not to” is the solution. In our case, my personality is “quite competitive,” so when that switch was flipped, my heart moved.
In other words, it’s important for the husband to figure out where the switch is that motivates his wife and whether he can press it accurately.
Speaking of which, when I test-drove a reader’s Honda S660,
I talked with the owner’s wife, who said she had even gotten rid of her automatic-only license restriction to practice driving manual. When I asked, “Why go so far to practice manual driving?” she said:
Our kids have grown up and become independent, so it’s just the two of us now. I was wondering what we’d do with our time together when my husband said, “How about learning to drive a manual?” If I could drive a manual, we could go on drives and trips together, and that sounded fun, so I decided to practice.
For this wife, I think the switch was “making the time spent as a couple richer and more enjoyable.”
Looking at this couple, I thought, “They seem really close and happy.” What’s important is the foundation of their everyday relationship as a couple, and then the timing when child-rearing settles down perfectly set the stage for the wife to practice driving manual.
In our case, it took about 10 years from when we met until I started driving manual. When our child was born, I was often irritated and would fall asleep while putting the baby to bed, so there was almost no conversation between us for quite a while.
I think the timing when I became interested in manual driving also coincided with our second child growing a bit and us gaining some breathing room in parenting.
Well, marriage really isn’t something simple or straightforward… lol
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