I often see posts by Nob-san on X. His posts are always interesting, so I can’t help but read them.

Men who love cars are a hassle for women looking for marriage partners.

But apparently, you can tell if he’ll be a good husband in the future with a simple question.

“Ask him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can’t immediately say ‘minivan,’ he’s definitely a loser!”

That’s what it says.
I saw someone puffing up their nostrils talking about this again yesterday. pic.twitter.com/gHF8sIn9W2

— Nob (@Nob57165321) July 5, 2024

Men who love cars are a hassle for women looking for marriage partners. But apparently, you can tell if he’ll be a good husband in the future with a simple question: “Ask him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can’t immediately say ‘minivan,’ he’s definitely a loser!” That’s what it says. I saw someone puffing up their nostrils talking about this again yesterday.

So.

This debate pops up now and then, and I’m sure it’s a topic that will never be settled.

Surely, “minivan = family-oriented,” “he genuinely thinks about his family,” “he wouldn’t spend money on his hobbies and neglect the household,” “he’s a proper husband and dad” is the idea behind it. Conversely, “a guy who keeps buying sporty cars for his own pleasure and does whatever he wants doesn’t care about his family, so you shouldn’t marry someone like that” is the other side of the coin.

Maybe the woman who started this conversation has a father like the latter, who neglected his family and caused the mother a lot of hardship, so she refuses to marry someone like that. Everyone’s values are different, so I don’t think it’s anyone else’s place to judge.

And if the man being asked truly, sincerely, from the bottom of his heart wants a minivan and is perfectly happy with that, then that’s a wonderful thing.

But every time I see this kind of debate, I feel a strong sense of discomfort.

That’s because the conversation is based on the assumption that following the “should be” rails of society’s common sense is the correct answer.

If you do what everyone else does, you feel somewhat safe.
If you don’t stray from the rails, you’ll probably be okay.

That’s the underlying mindset, and it seems like the question “Why in the first place? What’s the purpose?” is being ignored.

Is that really the best answer?

Of course, I’m also bound by common sense in many ways.

There are times when “I really want to do this, but I can’t for some reason”, and I’m not in a position to lecture others. But at least I try to consciously ask myself, “What’s the point of this?”

Because what matters is achieving the goal, and there are infinite ways to do so.

I try (or at least intend) to regularly think about whether I’m getting caught up in the “means” and losing sight of the essence.

And even if the means go against general social norms or stray from the rails, if I think it’s right, I’ll boldly walk that path.

I like living that way, so I consciously question myself. (And I’m a bit of a loner who prefers self-reflection over socializing.)

Speaking of which, now that my older kids are in elementary school, I often think about the “once kids pass third grade, they should go to cram school” rail.

I’m not saying cram school is bad.

If you’re convinced, discuss it with your spouse and kids, and decide it’s the best solution, that’s totally fine. If your child loves studying and has a goal, then by all means, they should study hard. But,

Because everyone else is going.
Because it somehow feels safer to send them.
Because if they take exams now, they’ll ride the escalator to university.
Because going to a good school means going to a good university and a secure future.

These seem to be the main reasons… and I always wonder if that’s really true.

With AI advancing rapidly and taking over more and more jobs, is cram school really the best answer now? Maybe the important things lie elsewhere. (If it’s truly the best answer, then that’s fine.)

Back to the minivan topic, it’s the same — I wonder if that’s really the best answer.

Surely that person wants to live a happy life.

If so, I think it’s better to deeply consider “What does happiness mean to me?” And by thinking about that, the answer to “Is marriage really the best way to live a happy life?” might change.

If you’re marrying because of your parents’ expectations, social pressure, or impatience about having kids, you don’t have to force yourself.

But if you think marriage will make you happy, then the question you should ask your partner is not some cheap line like “Ask him what kind of car he wants when kids are born! If he can’t immediately say ‘minivan,’ he’s definitely a loser!”

You should look deeper at things like “Does this person have the resolve to protect their family?” “How serious are they about their own life?” “Are they someone who follows through on their words?”

That’s what I think.

Well, since I think this way, I’m sure the person who started this topic on X would say, “Wow, this guy’s a pain in the neck” and probably ignore me altogether (lol).

Why not have two cars?

On the contrary, I think “No matter what society calls you—a loser or whatever—I admire a man who sticks to the path he believes in” (of course, not to the extent of causing serious trouble to others).

When asked, “What kind of car do you want when kids are born?”

I think it’s perfectly fine to answer,

“I love cars, so I’m going to add another one! I’ll work hard to earn for that! If you don’t understand that, then don’t bother marrying me!”

And I believe there are (even if few) women who would find such a man “interesting!”

Anyway, life is only once, so you should live it the way you want.

Living your way means stepping off society’s rails, which takes courage and resolve, but if that way of living and choosing becomes normal, then by “birds of a feather flock together,” like-minded people will gather,

You won’t care about others’ opinions,

You’ll happily say, “Looks like I’m adding another car!” while buying a Porsche,
You’ll say, “Alright! Time to earn more!” and work hard,

You’ll go to the Royu Driveway almost every week,
You’ll go on solo tours covering thousands of kilometers,

You’ll go to family restaurants monthly and chat about cars with your car friends until closing time,

Even if people are baffled, you’ll think, “Being called weird is the highest compliment,” and even enjoy those looks—a true going-my-own-way husband and his car-loving friends will emerge (lol).

And I, watching my husband, recently say, “Well then, I’ll have my freedom too! Someday I want two cars as well!” so together we’re a perfect pair of “loser” husband and wife lol.

That said, we’re all having fun as a family, so please continue to enjoy the blog “Welcome Home, PORSCHE.”
(What kind of ending is this lol)