Negotiations are diplomacy between representatives of nations.

The other day, I wanted a little encouragement regarding a work decision, so I consulted my husband about it.

Usually, I don’t often discuss work matters with him.

However, since “the decision I was about to make” and “the advice I received from others” were somewhat different, I wanted to hear what conclusion he would reach if he were in my situation.

I won’t go into details, but it was about “how to handle a problem caused by a fundamental misunderstanding with a client from the start.”

After listening, my husband immediately said, “If it were me, I’d do this without hesitation,” and gave me this advice:

I believe B2B negotiations are like “diplomacy between representatives of nations.” You have to approach them with that kind of spirit.
You shouldn’t awkwardly pander to the other side or be overly accommodating just because you want the business. Instead, you must stand firm and say, “this is our country’s stance,” with confidence.
Clients pay us money, but in return, we provide know-how and value, contributing to their growth and development. So the relationship should be equal.
Of course, if we make mistakes, we must apologize and respond sincerely, but we shouldn’t humble ourselves more than necessary.
If that balance and relationship break down from the beginning, it becomes very difficult to repair later on.

I thought, diplomacy between nations, huh? I had never thought of negotiations that way before. Then he continued:

The thing is, I basically have no intention of aggressively chasing work in my negotiations, haha.
There’s no need to force myself to get a job, and honestly, I don’t like being too busy, so I don’t have the mindset of “I must get this work at all costs.”
Also, jobs I’ve forced myself to take often don’t go well later.
So, during the initial negotiation, unless asked, I don’t explain our services, and sometimes I honestly tell them, “Your company might actually be better suited to another company’s services.”
I also don’t follow up with “Have you considered it? When can I expect your answer?”
They might think I’m unmotivated, but surprisingly, a few months later, they often contact me saying, “We’d like to proceed with that matter.”
And the jobs that start because they want them usually go smoothly afterward.

What a lackadaisical attitude… but I really get what he’s saying (laughs).

Become a troublesome person.

While we were talking, my husband said, “By the way, there’s a phrase by Takamori Saigo that I really like,” and sent me the quote by email.

“People who want neither money, nor honor, nor life are troublesome, but without such people, great achievements in the world cannot be accomplished.”

I want money, (I don’t care about honor), and I want to live… haha.

Someone who wants no money, no honor, and no life is basically “invincible.” They have nothing to fear.
Such people don’t listen to others and often act wildly, but indeed, without people like that, great achievements can’t be made.
And for you, Mina, ultimately, it’s okay if the company’s sales don’t increase.
Since I’m the breadwinner of our household now, it’s not like “we can’t live unless the company’s sales go up.” Even if sales don’t rise, we’ll manage and won’t die. So there’s no need to panic.
You don’t have to be a well-behaved person; in fact, it’s better to be a troublesome one.
There’s no need to force yourself to get work by compromising your stance. You can be confident with the attitude of “It’s perfectly fine if you decline us.”
That kind of attitude and spirit become an aura and a presence that makes the other side think, “This person is a little unusual.” and then sales will follow naturally.
So don’t rush.

This whole conversation with my husband completely solidified my mindset, and I was able to take immediate action.

My thinking tends to be masculine… When I consult my husband, it’s usually in a situation like, “I’ve thought it through and decided, but what do you think?”

Since I’ve already made up my mind, I just want a final push. But this time, I learned that “you don’t have to give in to make that decision; hold your pride and be confident.” It felt like I climbed a step within myself.

And I couldn’t help but tweet this:

仕事での決断について、夫に相談したら、「『金もいらぬ、名誉もいらぬ、命もいらぬ人は始末に困るが、そのような人でなければ天下の偉業は成し遂げられない　西郷隆盛』ちゅうこっちゃ！堂々としとけばええ」と。あんまり身内を褒めるのもあれやけど、この人が夫で良かったと改めて思った。

— Mina-ポルシェがわが家にやってきた (@Mina_Panamera) June 22, 2022

Though we are husband and wife, we are also senior and junior business partners, and partners running this Porsche blog together… it’s a unique relationship, but I’m reminded that if we keep pride in the worlds we inhabit, we can continue to grow together.