A Marriage Without Interference

Since I often write on this blog about how my husband and I talk about cars, you might think we’re a couple who talks a lot—but that wasn’t always the case. In fact, there was a time when we hardly spoke at all, and I felt a real sense of crisis.

Our conversations increased dramatically once cars became a shared hobby for us.

Originally, my husband and I weren’t the type to discuss our worries or share much; we tended to handle things on our own and keep things to ourselves. And while it might sound cool to say we “don’t interfere with each other,” the truth is we barely asked about each other’s lives (lol).

For example, even if my husband went on a solo 3-night, 4-day tour, I wouldn’t know which inns he stayed at. On days he didn’t need dinner, all I’d see on our Google Calendar was “No dinner needed.” I didn’t know who he went with or what he ate. Sometimes, long after the fact, he’d casually mention something like, “Oh, I went out to eat with so-and-so the other day.”

Likewise, my husband never asks me where I’m going or who I’m with when I head out.

We’re pretty indifferent (lol).

Clueless About Special Occasions

We’re both terrible at remembering anniversaries, so even on our wedding anniversary, we’d only realize it when Facebook sent a notification. Then we’d exchange emails around evening like, “Did you know today’s our anniversary?” “Oh, I forgot.” We’ve never exchanged gifts or gone out to dinner for Christmas, and when I ask my husband “Do you want chocolate for Valentine’s?”, he says:

“That’s just a scheme by chocolate companies—I don’t want any!”

So I just buy myself some treat chocolates and enjoy them (laughs).

As for birthdays, my husband says he doesn’t want any presents (even though I think it’s fine to give him something anyway), and I’m more into practical things like “I want a Mac for work!” rather than accessories or bags… so romance is definitely not our strong suit.

Things Changed After Our Second Daughter Was Born

That said, when we first got married, we did have conversations like “I’ve been thinking about this lately” or “Work is developing in this way.” But after our second daughter was born in 2017, our talks dropped off sharply.

With two kids, I had more to do and was constantly sleep-deprived. When my husband came home from work, I’d be putting the kids to bed and then fall asleep myself.

Even on days off, I was often too tired and sleeping, and our daily conversations were probably limited to “Good morning,” “Welcome home,” “I’m back,” and “Good night.”

One day, after months of this, I finally opened up to my husband about my feelings, and we agreed, “We don’t have enough natural conversations lately, so let’s make time to talk more.” But at the same time, I thought:

Wait, what exactly should we talk about in these “natural” conversations? (-_-)

We’d gone so long without talking that I didn’t even know how to start or what to say.

So even though we agreed to talk more, our conversations didn’t really increase—until last June.

By chance, I started this blog, and I naturally became more interested in Porsche and cars. I found myself saying things like “The new model ◯◯ just came out—what’s it like?” or “What’s torque? What’s a chassis?” and our conversations naturally grew (well, more like we started having geeky talks, haha).

Cars became the trigger for our talks, but from there, we started talking about all kinds of things.

Thanks to Porsche

It made me realize that communication is like blood flow. When blood gets blocked, it thickens and causes illness or poor health. So it needs to keep flowing smoothly to maintain a healthy body.

Communication is the same. Through casual chats and light conversations, you create a natural atmosphere for talking. That foundation lets you discuss important things and keeps the family healthy.

Trying too hard to face each other or force time together can sometimes cause discomfort or stress, but sharing time around mutual interests feels really good—I’ve come to appreciate that more recently.

Thank you so much, Porsche! (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

I hope that through our shared love of cars, we can keep our marriage strong and happy, no matter what.