Do Car Enthusiasts Really Struggle to Date?

Every now and then, I come across posts online saying things like “Car guys can’t get dates” or “I can’t find a girlfriend.” But is it really true that car enthusiasts have a hard time attracting women?

I thought about it for a while, and… yes, I do think

car enthusiasts can struggle to get dates.(Though who am I to say?)

I know full well I’m no dating expert, nor am I a gorgeous, kindhearted, universally adored woman like Haruka Ayase. Still, I’d like to share my thoughts from a woman’s perspective.

I think the reason people say car enthusiasts struggle with dating is that “the car always comes first.” That kind of all-consuming passion can be hard for many women to relate to.

Take my husband, for example(sorry to use you as an example when we’re talking about men who struggle to date)…

Back when he had an SLK 350, we parked at his parents’ house. I opened the passenger door and tried to get out, but the seat sat lower than I expected. I couldn’t get my balance, and as I held on to the door handle, I started to topple over.

“If I don’t let go, I’m going to slam the door into the wall!” I thought, so I quickly released it. With nowhere else to put my hand, I landed hard on the concrete, and pain shot through my palm. I winced and cried, “Ouch!”—and my husband immediately asked:

Are you okay?! The door!

…
…
…I’m dead.

In that moment, I felt like I’d just seen “a preview of our entire married life” (laughs).

A Different Way to Look at Car Enthusiasts

Generally speaking, women like men who are thoughtful, know how to make them happy, and look good(and I suppose the reverse is true, too). So when you’re together and you start to notice lots of moments that make you think, “Is the car more important to you than I am?” it’s easy to wonder whether the relationship is going to work.

Maybe that’s why people say “car-loving men aren’t popular with women.”

But just as car enthusiasts are devoted to their cars, I think many of them are devoted to the women they love, too.(At least, a lot of them are.)

Looking around at the people I know, many car enthusiasts really do take good care of their girlfriends and wives.(Some aren’t exactly smooth operators, though, so they don’t always know how to show it.)

I also get the impression that many people with an enthusiast’s focus excel at work and go on to build successful careers. Others may be young now, but work hard and earn recognition because owning and maintaining the car they want gives them something to strive for. When you look at it that way,

a man who works hard, gets ahead, and loves his partner faithfully

sounds like a pretty great guy to me!

“Easy for you to say—but where are the women who’ll look beyond the car obsession and see what a great guy he is?” you might ask. But being popular with women and meeting someone who’s right for you aren’t necessarily the same thing.

Being able to be yourself, pursue what you love, and meet a woman who’s happy with that seems more important than being popular. At least, that’s how I see it.

Maybe I only feel that way because I’ve gotten older. (Ha!)

The Women Who Are Happy to Have a Car Enthusiast in Their Lives

Here’s something I want to say from a woman’s perspective: some women judge men by “who they are, not how they look,” and by their own instincts and values rather than convention or what other people think. They may be in the minority, but they’re definitely out there—and I know quite a few.

But there’s one thing I can say for sure:

Those women are definitely a little unusual.

They may look much like anyone else, but once you talk to them, you might find they’re not quite “ordinary”—maybe a little offbeat or even a bit wild. A little different(in a good way).

They might think, “I see things differently from other people. I don’t mind if my boyfriend or husband loves cars. I have things I want to do, too, so let’s both enjoy what we love.”

Put like that, you might think, “She sounds incredibly understanding. Who cares if she’s a little unusual—she sounds great!” But here’s something to keep in mind:

Don’t expect these women to do all the things you might expect from a more conventional partner (laughs).

For example, don’t expect her to get up early to make a homemade lunch or sandwiches for a date, or to listen sympathetically and say, “That sounds so hard—I know exactly how you feel,” when you’re having a rough time at work.

Don’t expect that kind of thing(Actually, I’m talking about myself here.)

But then again, maybe it’s precisely because they’re a little unconventional that they can accept an unconventional car enthusiast and give him the freedom to do his thing.

When You Meet Her, Don’t Let Her Go!

So where exactly do you find a woman like that? I really couldn’t say(Hey, don’t ask me!) But I’m pretty sure

she won’t be at a singles mixer,
and she probably hasn’t signed up with a matchmaking agency, either.

So how are you supposed to meet her? (－_－)

This is just my gut feeling, but meeting someone is all about timing and connection. The right people are drawn to each other, so you may not need to go searching everywhere. Someone like that might be closer than you think.

What matters is that when you meet a woman and think, “This is it!” you don’t hesitate or hold back—you reach out and make it happen. Just like when you find the car you really want and do whatever it takes to get it (laughs).

…At this point, I’m not even sure who I’m talking to or what I’m talking about, so I’ll leave it there for today. m(_ _)m