Why I Love Twitter

Lately, I’ve become more of a Twitter person than a Facebook person. Both platforms have their appeal, of course, but I feel that Twitter reveals more of people’s true selves and unfiltered emotions than Facebook does. That makes it entertaining to browse—and often sparks ideas from a different perspective. (Though there’s plenty of misinformation posted just to get people sharing it.)

Around Valentine’s Day, I saw a lot of car-loving guys tweeting things like, “I love cars, but I don’t have a girlfriend,” and “How can I marry a wife who loves cars?” I found myself reading their posts with the amused curiosity of an aunt watching the younger generation and thinking, “So this is what young people are thinking about these days.”

Those tweets got me wondering: What kind of woman should a man marry if he wants to keep loving cars and sharing his life with them, even after marriage? I’ve given it some thought, and today I’d like to share my perspective.

It’s Okay to Love Cars

For what it’s worth, I wasn’t a car person at all. In fact, I used to believe that you didn’t need a car to live a good life. I thought, “Cars cost a lot to own, you can get by without one, public transportation is excellent in the city, and exhaust fumes are bad for the environment. So I don’t need a car.”

But that never meant I wanted my husband to give up his car hobby before we got married, or that I thought he should compromise on cars if he wanted to marry me. I never felt that way.

So why was I, someone who wasn’t into cars, able to tell my husband—who loves cars and road trips—to do what made him happy?

I think it’s because:

I’ve chosen to live a life that makes room for the things I love, so I can understand my husband wanting to do the same.

When I Was 27

I may have mentioned this briefly on the blog before, but I started my own business when I was 27. I had no idea what I was doing, and no money, connections, or know-how. Looking back, it was completely reckless! (笑)

It’s no surprise that my family and the company I worked for were strongly against it.

“There’s no way you can do it. You’re bound to fail. What will you do with your life if you end up buried in debt?”

“You’re doing well at your current company and earning a good salary for your age. Giving all of that up makes no sense.”

And so on…

My parents, whose relatives were all company employees, were especially worried. They genuinely thought, “Has she finally lost her mind?” and opposed the idea completely. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I didn’t do it then, I’d regret it for the rest of my life, so I took the leap. (In the end, I was able to start out with my family’s support.)

Ten years ago, starting a business wasn’t the trend it is now. It was unusual for a woman in her twenties to go independent, especially in Kansai. At various networking events, people said hurtful things to my face along the lines of, “Women are always…” That was when I learned firsthand:

The moment you choose a path that goes against conventional wisdom or the route laid out for you, the world can become a much harsher place.

That said, when people criticize me, I tend to get fired up and think, “I’ll show you!” So in a way, it worked in my favor.

Live Your Own Life

After I started my business, I met far more business owners than I had when I was an employee. Unlike the people who had discouraged me, they wholeheartedly supported taking on a challenge. One piece of advice from a mentor who has looked out for me for the past decade has stuck with me:

“Say you want to climb Everest. You need to talk to someone who’s already climbed it. People who’ve never been there will tell you it’s impossible and try to stop you (often out of kindness and concern). But someone who’s climbed it can give you advice on how to get there—and cheer you on. That’s just how it works.”

That made me think, “That makes so much sense!” From then on, I sought advice from people like that. Before long, nearly everyone around me was a business owner or freelancer.

Many of them were living rich, fulfilling lives, free from conventional expectations and guided by their own choices. The more I saw that, the more I thought, “I want to live that way, too.”

Of course, great freedom comes with great responsibility. I worked incredibly hard over those ten years, but in the end, I didn’t get anywhere near what I’d set out to achieve—and I ran out of money, too.（笑）

Do I regret it? Not at all. It felt like the kind of lesson you get in a Dragon Quest-style life philosophy:

Even if a powerful enemy defeats you, you can start over at the church. You may lose your money, but you keep the experience.

I gained experiences that will stay with me for life, so I’m truly glad I took that first step.

And I’m deeply grateful to my husband, who has given me the space to pursue what I want wholeheartedly in every sense—even after we got married and had children.

Over the past decade, I also discovered that I love writing and may have a knack for expressing ideas to a wide audience. I changed the way I ran my company, began taking my Porsche blog seriously, and that’s how I got to where I am today.

If You Love Cars, Who Should You Marry?

That was a long preamble, but here’s the point: I believe in living according to your own values rather than society’s expectations. So I’m completely fine with my husband loving cars—even being absolutely obsessed with them. In fact, the more passionate he is, the more he can excel, and the more interesting life becomes. Why not?

When you take a different path from the people around you, you’re bound to hear things—and face some headwinds.

Even so, we only get one life. I choose to live my own rather than someone else’s expectations. I think my husband feels the same way, so I want him to treasure what he loves and what he wants to do—and enjoy it to the fullest.

That said, it matters a lot that my husband understands the balance between freedom and responsibility. He’ll say things like:

“I’ll work hard and earn enough so the cars don’t put a strain on our household budget.”
“I don’t like housework and don’t want to do it, but I’ll help make it easier by investing in time-saving appliances and services.”

Honestly, I think that kind of consideration is important. (I’m not the kind of wife with the patience to support a husband who does whatever he wants without considering anyone else. lol)

So, to return to the original question: What kind of woman should a man marry if he wants to keep loving cars and sharing his life with them after marriage? Of course, marrying a woman who loves cars herself would be ideal—but there probably aren’t many of them… (笑)

Perhaps it’s better to look at it another way:

Look for someone who understands the importance of living your own life—someone who cares more about who they want to be than about what everyone else considers normal.

If you meet and marry someone like that, maybe you can keep cars at the heart of your life after marriage, too. Of course, it may not be quite that simple—but lately, that’s what this auntie has been thinking.