My Husband’s Touring Trips

When my husband gets a long break, he often sets off alone on a long-distance driving tour. Depending on the length of the holiday, it might be a 2-night, 3-day trip or even a week-long journey, with destinations ranging from Tohoku to Shikoku. His dream, he says, is to one day go on a nonstop touring trip for about a month (laughs).

When you hear “touring,” you might picture a fun trip where you drive your beloved car, visit sightseeing spots, and enjoy local specialties. But my husband’s touring is quite different.

He barely eats lunch and drives nonstop from morning till night—sometimes for as long as 12 hours a day.

What is this, some kind of ascetic training…? (-_-)w

The other night, I talked on the phone with him while he was on a tour, and his voice was hoarse. When I asked, “What’s wrong!?” he said, “I haven’t spoken to anyone all day, so this is basically the first time I’ve opened my mouth, which makes it hard to speak” (laughs).

When I once asked him, “Why do you go to such lengths to drive? Since you’re going to a different place, don’t you want to enjoy the local food or take it easy and rest?” he replied:

I don’t need that. I’m driving all the way to roads I usually can’t reach because they’re too far. If it were a family trip, sure, but for me, eating or relaxing would just be a waste of time. More than anything, I want to spend every single minute and second driving my car.

In fact, when he returned from a recent long tour, he looked a bit thinner and his face seemed smaller (w).

Also, when it comes to accommodations, he usually chooses Route Inn hotels rather than hot spring inns or fancy hotels.

When I asked, “Why do you always stay at Route Inn?” he said:

Route Inn hotels have pretty spacious parking lots. Also, many are located near highway interchanges, which is really convenient for touring. Plus, the rates are reasonable and they include a free breakfast, so it’s a great deal. My tours usually have only a rough direction planned, and I often decide where to go on the day itself, so looking for a place to stay each time would be a hassle. Since Route Inn hotels are all over the country and offer almost the same service, I can just stay there and be sure it’ll be fine. I’ve stayed at Route Inns all over Japan, and I think I could even write a blog about the unique features and subtle differences of each one.

Touring Is Like Ascetic Training

My husband loves cars and driving, so driving on beautiful roads across the country is his ultimate happiness. But solo touring is also “an important time for quiet self-reflection,” he says.

He uses the time to think deeply about his future goals and the company’s direction, facing himself and pondering various things…

For me, touring feels like a monk walking through the mountains for ascetic training (w). That’s why I drive so strictly and intensely.

He explained this to me once.

When I first heard this, I thought, “Yeah, sure, you’re just putting a nice spin on it~” but after he returns from touring, he often says things like, “I thought about a lot of things, but I’m definitely going in this direction” or “I’ve set a new goal,” looking refreshed. So now I realize touring is really important to him in many ways.

Thoughts Watching My Husband Go on Long Tours

When I write about this, many people say, “Mina, you’re such an understanding wife for not complaining about your husband going on long solo tours,” but unfortunately, I’m not that perfect a wife (laughs).

I’m not the type to “endure and accommodate my husband” or “support him devotedly.” I just think, “I get to have my freedom day to day, so he should have his freedom too.”

So when my husband goes on a solo tour, I take the kids and go back to my parents’ house to get a break from daily housework and childcare. My parents are happy to see their grandchildren, and the kids enjoy playing with their grandparents, so it’s a happy arrangement for everyone in our family.

On the flip side, if the situation were reversed and I couldn’t have freedom while only my husband did, I’m pretty sure I’d go crazy with anger… (So I’m definitely not a perfect wife, lol)

Since we got married, my husband has told me,

“If you want to be a full-time housewife, go ahead. If you want to work, go ahead. If you don’t like cleaning or laundry, buy robot appliances or hire housework services. The important thing is you do what you want and stay happy.”

And true to his word,

whether I was pushing myself to work even when I was unwell, or decided to focus on childcare for a while, or started blogging because I wanted something beyond childcare to dedicate myself to, he always quietly supported me, saying, “Do whatever you want, however you like.”

So I hope I can also be someone who supports my husband’s passions and desires from nearby.

We’re not at the stage where we can talk about marriage in depth yet, but through various experiences, I’ve come to believe that “a healthy distance and mutual respect” are essential in a marriage.

Because we trust each other, we don’t interfere. Seeing my husband calmly handle things I could never do and overcome challenges while carrying many burdens, I’ve recently come to think, “Go ahead and take as many solo long tours as you want.”

From now on, while watching over my husband’s solo tours, I find it amusing that I—who had zero interest in cars—am now thinking, “I hope he fulfills his dream of a nonstop month-long tour someday.” I guess my husband has done a great job brainwashing me (laughs).