A Car Ride Can Make It Easier to Talk About the Things You Usually Don’t

When you’re in a car, it somehow feels easier to talk about things you don’t usually bring up. On long family drives, the kids usually fall asleep on the way home, and that’s when my husband and I end up talking about all kinds of things.

What’s been happening lately, how we’ve been feeling, what matters to us right now, work… Somehow, talking side by side in a car feels much easier than going out for a meal together (though with kids, we hardly ever get that chance these days).

I wondered if sitting side by side instead of face to face—and being in a cozy, enclosed space—might be what makes conversation flow more easily. So I searched online and came across plenty of articles like these.

■Could Bad Passenger-Seat Manners Ruin a Date? 7 Things Women Should Never Do on a Drive Date
■Be a Great Passenger on Your Drive Date! 5 Manners That’ll Win You Points with Your Boyfriend and 7 Things to Avoid, Explained from a Man’s Perspective
■“I Can’t Stand Women Like This!” 5 Passenger-Seat Habits That Put Men Off

Huh… So women are reading articles like these to get ready for a drive date.

I Used to Sleep Through Every Ride

My husband and I went on plenty of drives even before we got married, but I spent most of them fast asleep. Then, when we reached our destination, I’d say things like, “What, we’re already there? Wow, I slept so well!･∵.”—with absolutely no regard for how that might sound—and promptly fall asleep again on the way home.

And it wasn’t just in the car. Once, my husband took me on a motorcycle ride, and the breeze felt so good that, well, I completely conked out—not just nodding off, but properly asleep.

I kept banging my helmet against his from behind as he rode. He was exasperated: “How on earth can you sleep that much on a motorcycle? (-_-)” We never went on another motorcycle ride together after that…

Now that I’ve become a car enthusiast, I feel like I hardly ever fall asleep in the passenger seat anymore. (Not that it never happens.)

What Do Those Articles Actually Say?

I wondered what these online articles had to say, so I took a look.

■Things to bring before getting into your boyfriend’s car
・Wet wipes
・Gum or candy to help you stay alert
・Snacks or drinks your boyfriend likes
■5 things boyfriends appreciate their girlfriends doing in the passenger seat
1.　Opening their drink for them
2.　Complimenting their driving skills
3.　Helping out with the drive
4.　Checking that they’re feeling okay
5.　Looking like they’re having a good time
■7 things to avoid doing in the passenger seat
1.　Criticizing the way he drives
2.　Wearing too much perfume
3.　Staring at your phone or making calls the whole time
4.　Falling asleep
5.　Sitting with bad posture
6.　Suddenly shouting or making other loud noises
7.　Suddenly announcing that you need to use the restroom while he’s driving
＊Source: Be a Great Passenger on Your Drive Date! 5 Manners That’ll Win You Points with Your Boyfriend and 7 Things to Avoid, Explained from a Man’s Perspective

So, yeah—apparently falling asleep is a no-no…

Really, Though?

Looking more closely at the other articles, I found quite a few complaints that made me think, “Wait, people actually care about that?”

・“When I hand her a drink, she doesn’t open the cap for me.” (37-year-old man, sales, information technology)
→If you want her to open it, why not just ask?
・“She talks to me while I’m concentrating on driving.” (38-year-old man, other, healthcare and welfare)
→Then why not go for a drive by yourself?
・“She doesn’t check behind us when I’m reversing.” (22-year-old man, other, other)
→Come on, you should be checking that yourself.
・“He’s lost, but she doesn’t do anything to help.” (38-year-old man, sales and service, transportation and warehousing)
→Why not just say, “Could you look it up on Google Maps?”
・“I’ve gone out of my way to take her along a scenic route, but she just stares at her phone.” (35-year-old man, administrative specialist, education)
→Okay, that one’s fair.
・“She didn’t help me pay at the toll booth.” (37-year-old man, technical specialist, metals, steel and chemicals)
→Seriously? You’re 37—get it together.
＊Source: “I Can’t Stand Women Like This!” 5 Passenger-Seat Habits That Put Men Off

…When I find myself thinking, “I wouldn’t want to go on a date with a guy that high-maintenance,” I can’t help wondering if I’m just not on the same wavelength as most men. (-_-)

Dating a Man Who Loves Cars

But when I think about it, there’s a big difference between “going on a drive date with a man who loves cars” and “going on a date with a man who happens to use a car to get around.” My husband loves cars, so maybe he actually enjoyed driving more when I was asleep beside him… (Or maybe that’s just me making excuses.)

As for what to keep in mind when you’re dating a car-loving man, here’s my take:

1. As a rule, don’t eat or drink in the car
If he asks, “Want something to drink?” then sure, have one together—but don’t bring your own food or drinks along.
2. Close the door gently
My husband once dropped a not-so-subtle hint after I slammed the door.
3. Wipe dirt off your shoes before getting in
If your shoes get dirty while you’re out, brush off as much dirt as you can before getting back in.
4. Compliment his car
No one minds hearing a kind word about the car they love.
5. Show interest when the conversation turns to cars
If he starts talking about something like, “The engine in this car…,” even if you don’t really understand, ask questions: “Oh, really? So what does this part do?”

That’s about it. More than anything, I think it comes down to being considerate—and showing that you care about the things that matter to the person you’re with. Writing this has reminded me of a few things I could do better, so I’ll try to keep them in mind from now on! lol