Driving a Manual Car

Many people have probably had a similar experience: “if you keep practicing continuously, there comes a day when you suddenly just get it.”

I aimed to enter a music college as a pianist until my senior year of high school (though I eventually gave up). Even when faced with difficult pieces that made me think, “there’s no way my fingers can move like this, it’s impossible,” if I kept practicing, there were moments when suddenly I could play smoothly.

A lot of time has passed since then, and now I’m experiencing that very same phenomenon with driving a manual car: “one day, you suddenly just get it.”

One day, I suddenly became able to focus on both the accelerator and clutch pedals; another day, I could smoothly shift gears while paying attention to RPM and speed; another day, I grasped the feeling of gently revving the engine…

Those moments always come out of nowhere, and I can’t help but grin while driving, thinking, “Wow! Somehow, I can do it now!” But at the same time, I also think:

“Why couldn’t I do something so simple until now…?”

It’s like learning to ride a bike—you fall many times before you can ride, but once you can, you can’t understand how you ever couldn’t. The same goes for manual driving. Even though I struggled for three years, now that I can drive, I can’t understand why I was so afraid and had such a mental block back then (laughs).

When Teaching Beginner Drivers

Recently, while chatting with some moms from my daughter’s kindergarten, the topic of me driving a manual car came up, and one mom said:

“Wow, that’s amazing! I want you to teach me too.”

I knew she was just joking in the moment and didn’t really mean it (laughs), but it made me think: if I were to teach someone who’s a beginner at manual driving (maybe even my daughters someday), how would I do it?

It’s often said that “teaching others is many times harder than learning yourself,” and I really feel that’s true for manual driving too.

After thinking it over, I realized that for me, the biggest hurdle in learning manual driving was the mental block of “I can’t do this, it’s impossible, I’m scared.” The technical skills came later; first, I had to overcome the mental barrier.

So, if I were the instructor, the first things I’d focus on would be:

① Creating an atmosphere where failure is okay
② Praising small improvements

When I couldn’t drive a manual yet, I was extremely afraid of failing—worrying things like “What if I stall at a red light and can’t get going?” or “What if I roll backward on a hill?” So I’d create a supportive atmosphere by saying things like:

“It’s okay, it’s okay! If you stall, just stay calm and try again. If it’s really tough, just turn on your hazard lights and other drivers will give you space.”
“Even if you fail, the car won’t run away—it’ll just stop, so no worries.”

This way, I’d make sure the learner feels safe and comfortable. (It might be a bit inconvenient for drivers behind, but everyone goes through this, so please be understanding.)

Then, during each practice session, there’s always some small progress or improvement, and I’d praise that. For example, “The car was shaky and almost stalled when starting, but now it’s a bit smoother” or “You were so tense before, but now you’re driving with a bit more relaxed shoulders.” I’d celebrate these tiny steps with “You’re doing better than before!.”

By repeating this, the number of “I did it!” moments grows, building confidence and gradually easing the fear of driving. The technical stuff comes later—once you think “I can do this!,” you’ll naturally want to keep practicing.

My Own Manual Practice Experience

Thinking back, my instructor (my husband) isn’t the type to praise much, as far as I know. Every time we practiced manual driving, he’d say things like:

“What’s wrong? Why can’t you do something so simple!?”
“What’s going on? You’re worse than before!”
“Even if you get the 320i delivered, you’ll probably just say, ‘No way! I can’t do this! I want to buy back the Golf!‘ or something, right? (lol)”

Hearing that repeatedly made me lose confidence and feel down. (He apparently knows he’s not cut out for teaching people… lol)

Looking back, I want to tell myself, “From that state, you’ve worked so hard and managed to drive a manual car—really impressive!” (laughs).

That said, before teaching others, I need to improve my own driving skills first, so I’ll keep working hard.