Money Matters

After I started working, I went through a period when I was in serious financial trouble for a particular reason. Those days were genuinely hard.

There were times when I didn’t even have the money for transportation to a work meeting the next day. I searched every corner of the apartment I lived in alone and found a few old Nintendo DS consoles and games. Mercari didn’t exist back then, so one night I cycled for about 30 minutes to Yodobashi Camera. I made it into the store just before closing and had them appraise the DS and all the games. The offer came to ¥8,000.

“That’ll keep me going for a week!” I breathed a sigh of relief and took the money. But I felt so ashamed of my situation—and of myself—that I rode home in tears.

Every time the phone rang, I panicked: “Is this a call about the rent?” “Are they chasing me for a payment?” Before long, I couldn’t answer the phone properly and developed a fear of phone calls. I canceled all my life insurance policies, and since I couldn’t afford a haircut, I started cutting my own hair.

If only I hadn’t spent all that money on a trip back then…
If only I hadn’t wasted money like that…

I’d imagine all the money I could never get back and regret how I’d spent it.

Of course, plenty of people have faced far greater financial hardship than I have. But for someone like me, who had grown up with relatively few worries, it was a painful experience. It taught me firsthand just how much money matters.

All for Panamera, Panamera for All.

When I was younger, I thought, “Love is enough, even without money,” and “You can be happy with a dream, even if you’re broke.” But without money, people become worn down. Their spirits sink. They can even lose sight of how much they care about the things—and people—that matter most.

Money isn’t everything, but I think the people who can find happiness without it must be on another level—like enlightened Buddhist monks. At least, I know I couldn’t do it.

A few years later, I realized that what I went through helped make me who I am today. I still have a long way to go in my career, and the only reason I can drive a Panamera now is thanks to my husband. Even so, I want to be able to buy a Panamera with my own money. It’s a promise I’ve made to myself.

So I’m going to work hard and earn it myself. Just imagining the day my own Panamera is delivered moves me to tears. I can’t help thinking, “I’ve finally made it this far.” (I know, my daydreams are getting out of hand, haha.)

That’s what keeps me working hard today!