Share Your Love of Cars as a Couple

Every now and then, I get comments and messages on the blog saying things like, “I’m jealous that you and your husband can share a passion for cars.” It makes me wonder: are most wives really not that interested in cars?

Until about three years ago, I had absolutely no interest in cars. In fact, I used to think, “Cars are such a luxury—we don’t need one in our lives! Spending money on a car makes no sense.” I may have been even less understanding than the average wife.

From Opposition to Understanding to Sharing the Passion

I asked my husband, “Is it really unusual for a couple to share a passion for cars?” He said:

I imagine it is. Plenty of people probably have their wives oppose buying a Porsche. And even if their wives don’t object and understand why they want one, a lot of couples probably never get as far as sharing the passion.

That makes sense. My own attitude toward cars seems to have gone through three stages: “opposition → understanding → sharing the passion.” (Though, I suppose there are also people who simply have no interest at all!)

Why Do Wives Oppose a Porsche Purchase?

Why might a wife oppose her husband buying a Porsche?

I think the biggest reason is money. If money is already tight and he says, “A man needs a dream!” “Don’t tell me what to do with my hobbies!” “I’m buying a Porsche!”—well, of course his wife is going to object.

Before that, why not earn enough so your wife can’t say no? There’s this thing called “freedom and responsibility”!

That’s the kind of argument it turns into.

But some husbands are probably earning more than enough and still find that their wives aren’t keen on the idea of buying a Porsche—or even actively oppose it. Why is that?

It’s a Question of Salesmanship

My husband put it this way:

Getting your wife on board with buying a Porsche is just like making a sale. You’re trying to get someone who says, “I don’t need one,” to eventually say, “Let’s buy it.”

He has a point. If someone thinks, “I don’t need a Porsche,” launching straight into a speech about how great they are will only annoy them. He went on:

You need to plan the story that leads to closing the deal—strategically and in detail—before you take action. In other words, you need sales skills.

That sounds about right.

I wrote here about how my husband won me over. Whatever you call it, it took him about four years to move me from someone with no interest in cars—and even negative feelings about them—to understanding why he loved them. Then it took another two years for us to go from understanding to sharing the passion.

Honestly, I can’t believe he stuck with it for so long without giving up (-_-).

Why Is It Harder at Home Than at Work?

Still, I get the impression that many husbands whose wives oppose a Porsche purchase are capable, successful professionals, often in positions of responsibility. At work, they probably know how to build support, plan strategically, and get results.

So why is getting a wife to say yes to a Porsche so difficult?

I think it may come down to the assumption that “She’s family, so she should understand.”

But even a wife was a stranger before you met. You grew up in different environments, have different values, and bring different circumstances and social circles to your marriage. So instead of starting from “She should understand,” it’s more natural to start from “Of course she may not understand.” Before trying to persuade her of the joys of Porsche ownership, first learn about her perspective and listen to what she has to say.

・What does your wife think about cars in general?
・What, if anything, does she find inconvenient or frustrating about your current life?
・Does she like your current car, or does she have concerns about it?

Whether she’s happy with your current car or dissatisfied with it can shape how you approach the conversation. Once you understand the situation, plan your approach—just as you would when making a sale.

I’d like to organize some practical approaches in another post, including how to take the next step from “understanding” to “sharing the enthusiasm.”

Good luck, husbands everywhere!