A Wife Opposing the Purchase of a New Lexus

The other day, I wrote an article titled “To Wives Who Oppose Buying Sports or Luxury Cars: Let Your Husbands Buy Happily!”.

I had come across a web article about a “47-year-old husband earning 12 million yen a year wanting to buy a new Lexus worth 8 million yen, but his wife opposes it,” and I shared my family’s perspective on it.

*Image source: LEXUS RX GALLERY

According to that article, the husband’s reason for wanting to switch to a Lexus was that “he currently drives an old Sienta, but when going out for dinners, the female employees in his company prefer to ride in their subordinates’ or colleagues’ Lexus, Crown, or new Harrier, and no one wants to ride in his car, which embarrassed him. So he wants to buy a new Lexus.”

In response, I wrote from our family’s viewpoint that “since he earns that much, the wife should let him buy the car happily,” but among the comments and messages I received, there was one particularly interesting opinion.

It’s true that “if the husband earns well and wants a sports car, the wife should happily let him buy it,” but in this case, the reason for wanting to switch is “because he wants to look good in front of female employees and, frankly, to be popular.” When the reason given is something like that, I can understand why the wife would oppose it.

I thought, “Hmm… that makes perfect sense!”

When I shared this view with my husband, he said,

“Yeah, I think that’s right! Most people I know, including myself, buy cars because they truly love cars and are genuinely captivated by Porsche’s driving and performance. So I can’t really understand buying a car just to look good to others without knowing the car’s performance.”

Well, that’s true. And looking at it from another angle, I also wondered, “Was the reason the female employees didn’t want to ride in this husband’s car really just about the car itself…?”

To put it extremely, if a colleague drives a new Lexus or Harrier, and Masaharu Fukuyama is driving an old Sienta, and you have to get a ride to the next dinner spot, you’d definitely want to ride in the Lexus or Harrier, right?

Well, that’s an extreme example, but still, haha.

Buying a Car Just for Appearances?

It’s not wrong to buy a car as a status symbol, and when a mom at kindergarten says, “Wow, Porsche, that’s cool!,” I honestly feel happy. I think everyone has at least a little bit of that feeling.

But if the husband says he wants to switch cars just because he wants to “look good to others,” then I might also oppose it, thinking, “Wait, you hardly even drive it, and you want to spend 8 million yen on something just for that reason?”

…No, I’d definitely oppose it at least once.

When a husband consults about buying something expensive, as a wife, it’s hard to say “Go ahead and buy it!” unless the “reason for buying” is convincing, not just the price.

I wish husbands would put as much effort into convincing their wives as they do when preparing a presentation at work.

About the Husband-Wife Relationship

Until now, my stance was “I basically don’t oppose what my husband wants to do,” but after receiving different perspectives this time, I thought, “Maybe it’s not always okay to just go along every time.”

Of course, if there’s no reason to oppose, it’s fine to support, but if you feel uncomfortable or think “this isn’t quite right,” it might be important to honestly say, “This is what I think; I don’t agree with that.”

For example, people who can afford to buy a Porsche usually hold some position at work and are older, so they often don’t have anyone around to give them frank advice.

That’s why, as a wife, it might be an important role to point out when you think something is wrong or to help your husband realize it. Well, this isn’t just from wife to husband; I think the same applies from husband to wife.

And whether your honest opinions are met with “You’re annoying” or “That’s a good point” depends on the daily relationship, so I want to cherish communication every day.

Ah, marriage really is deep and complex…