“Why Not Be a Stay-at-Home Mom?”

Every now and then, someone asks me, “You don’t actually need to work, so why do you?” We’re fortunate: my husband works hard, and thanks to him, I get to drive a Panamera and enjoy all kinds of special experiences.

So I imagine some people wonder, “Why does his wife work? They have two kids—why doesn’t she just stay home?”

Fair enough. But the reason I work is, I think, that I want to be free—to have emotional, financial, and personal freedom. Once, a personality assessment told me, “You’re the kind of person who wants to build a world of your own, where no one can tell you what to do.” I remember thinking: That’s exactly right!

Longing for Freedom

I grew up in a fairly strict household, so even as a child, I had a strong desire to “be free.” My curfew was 10 p.m. even when I was in college, and after I started working, my parents were reluctant to let me live on my own. We clashed often. (I’m glad we get along well now.)

Those experiences taught me that to become free, you need to:

・Earn a living for yourself
・Learn to stay calm and make a logical case that others can understand
・Show people through your actions that you’re worthy of their trust

As long as I rely on my husband’s income, I don’t feel truly free. Some might say freedom means being supported by your husband, not having to go to work every day, driving a Panamera wherever you like, going out with the kids whenever you want, and having lunch with your friends. But even if I had money I could spend as I pleased, and even if I could use my time however I wanted, I wouldn’t call that freedom.

What if my husband’s company went bankrupt?
What if he lost his job?
What if he could no longer work?
What if he asked for a divorce?
(…I don’t want to think about any of that, but even the most remote possibility is still a possibility. Nothing in life is certain!)

If any of those things happened, our life as we know it could collapse in an instant.

You can’t find freedom by leaving your life in someone else’s hands.

Freedom Means Independence

I believe the only way to find real freedom is to develop the ability to earn your own living.

And if you take that idea to its fullest, it means having the ability to support yourself, whatever happens—even without a company name behind you, without anyone backing you, and even if you lose everything you own. Getting there may mean going through periods when you feel anything but free. You may have to work incredibly hard, invest in yourself, raise your standards, and put in the hours.

But if you know it’s your ticket to freedom—and the path you chose for yourself—you can keep going. That’s why I’m sure I’ll keep working, whatever circumstances my husband may find himself in.

And one day, I’d love to be able to surprise him with a Grand Seiko watch. Or, if the unthinkable ever happened to him, I could say, “What? I earn plenty, so it doesn’t affect me one bit! (￣ー￣)ｂグッ！” That would be pretty cool.

I’ve got the daydream all figured out. Now I just need to work hard and make it real.

All right!