What the Customer Wants—and What the Salesperson Wants

When a family visits a dealership to buy a car, what role should the wife take? I’ve given it some thought. A couple’s shared goal is to “buy the best car for them at a fair price.” The salesperson, meanwhile, is probably hoping to “sell the customer a car for as close to the sticker price as possible.” With those competing goals in mind, I think the wife’s approach can make a big difference to both her husband and the salesperson.

What Kind of Car Buyer Is She?

After you’re shown to your seats and your husband and the salesperson have chatted for a while about your current car and other small talk, the salesperson may ask, “Do you drive often, too?” or “Is the car you’re looking for this time mainly for you?” How the wife responds can shape the way the rest of the sales conversation goes. For example, I’d loosely group her approach into these four types:

① “I’ll leave it to my husband”
Example: I don’t know much about cars, and my husband is paying, so I’ll leave it to him.
② “Easy to drive and park”
Example: I’d like something compact and cute that’s easy to drive and maneuver.
③ “We need a proper family car”
Example: I want a car with plenty of room for luggage, space for the kids, and good fuel economy.
④ “I know my way around cars”
Example: High-speed stability matters, and I care about handling and throttle response, too.

I imagine types ① and ② are easier for a salesperson to deal with. With types ③ and ④, the wife has more of a say, which might make things a little more complicated for the salesperson… haha. I’d say I fall into category ④. The last time we visited a dealership, I’d been quiet at first, but then the salesperson turned to me and asked, “And what about you, ma’am?” So I said something along the lines of:

“The [model] [model name] I test-drove before had way too much slack in the accelerator, and the steering felt vague. It had none of that ‘oneness between car and driver’ feeling, so I knew it wasn’t for me.”

After that, I felt the salesperson’s tone change noticeably. (Maybe he realized I was going to be a bit of a handful…) Either way, to avoid wasting anyone’s time, I think it’s best to be upfront early on about your opinions and what kind of role you want to take as a wife.

Be Your Husband’s Wingwoman

Once the salesperson understands your approach, the next thing to keep in mind is to “have your husband’s back.” This is where a wife can really show her skill, haha. Even if your husband is interested in the car and seriously considering buying it, once the salesperson decides, “He’ll buy if I just push a little,” they may start pressuring him to make a decision before he’s ready.

When that happens, he may not get to ask everything he wants to, making it harder to gather all the information he needs and make a sound decision. To prevent that, it helps to bring up anything your husband wants to ask, forgot to ask, or wants to say to the salesperson. The questions you ask will depend on what kind of car your family is looking for, but these are the things I’d want to know:

・How much value is the car likely to lose when it’s time to sell?
・What kind of fuel economy can we expect in real-world driving, rather than the official figure?
・How does it compare with competing models from other manufacturers?
・What’s the estimated delivery time and schedule?
・If we explain what we expect from the car, do you think our expectations are realistic?
・How stable is it at highway speeds, and can we take it for a test drive on the highway?
・Roughly how much of a discount might be possible?
・We’re also considering the [model] and [model] from other manufacturers.

A salesperson who can answer these questions clearly will earn my trust. But if they can’t answer, don’t know the details, or seem underprepared, that can also be a sign that “maybe we shouldn’t buy from this salesperson.” (I know, I sound like a difficult customer… sorry!)

Once you’ve asked your questions and have a clearer picture of anything that was uncertain, you can take your time and think it over at home. If anything else comes up, you can always call or email. So, while saying something like, “Well, we should probably get going,” you can start looking for a good moment to wrap up the visit.

That was the approach I tried to follow—until we went to buy the Panamera. Then my carefully considered role as a wife went completely off the rails.

What Was I Like When We Bought the Panamera?

We were deciding between a BMW 7 Series and a Porsche Panamera. I wrote about how that went in the article below:

→ Related article: How I Could Tell the Difference Between the Porsche Panamera and BMW 7 Series in Two Seconds

After test-driving the Panamera, we went back to the dealership to discuss the details. Ordering a car built to our own specifications would mean a long wait for delivery, so we decided to choose from the Panameras the dealership already had in stock.

My husband’s attitude was, “Let’s go have a look today. If we don’t find the right one, we can wait for another to come along.” But I wanted a Panamera so badly—and one of the cars they showed us gave me that instant “this is the one!” feeling. I got so excited that I completely forgot about my usual approach as a wife and started saying things like:

・Oh, so this is the only one you have, right?
・If someone else comes along wanting it, does that mean we won’t be able to buy it?
・Wow, I have a feeling this one’s meant to be. I want this one!

Instead of having my husband’s back, I ended up giving all my support to our salesperson, H—and we bought the car right away… That’s the Panamera sitting in our driveway today. Still, I have absolutely no complaints about our Panamera and am 120% happy with it, so it all worked out in the end.

You may know what you’re supposed to do in theory, but when the moment comes, the heart takes over… Next time, I’ll try to keep a cooler head.